The $3500 RABBIT - CONCLUSION


For a creature that naturally gets by in the wild, everything you read on rabbit pet blogs (and yes, there are a ton of them) point out what a fragile creature a bunny is. They can’t stand direct sunlight, they can’t stand extreme variances in temperature, and a sudden shock can kill them. It was like keeping my grandmother as a pet.[1] So you had to be careful, especially with stories flying around of prize-winning super-champion dogs dying in cargo holds because they froze to death or someone didn’t get them water or they got their rhinestone collar mysteriously magnetized to the propeller or something.

So you have to choose carefully. You have to ask them what experience they have in transporting rabbits – no matter how embarrassing it is.[2]

I finally settled on the company that said they had just transported a rabbit to Germany from Los Angeles for a family where the father had been transferred by the army.

Well, not only did they fly rabbits, but they flew them for the United States Armed Forces! The First Airborne Lepus Brigade! That was for me!

How much?

Well, let’s not get into dollars. I mean, really. What price can you put on a family pet[3]? Lauren had thought briefly of getting another bunny that she could cuddle, but she really couldn’t give Gravy up. She’d tear up at the thought[4]. Plus, the bunny had had a good life in the classroom, but after a year he accepted us as his – yes – family. If you take a pet, you have a responsibility for it’s well-being. Even if it was a fat lazy rabbit that was ungrateful and…

But I digress…

In order to transport him we needed to provide and FAA approved pet carrier[5], water, food, bedding and a certificate of health.

Yeah. A certificate of health. I guess to insure that if he sneezed he didn’t infect any other pets or if he got loose he wasn’t rabid and didn’t attack anyone. You know that the incidence of rabbit attacks is on the rise. Need to look out for that.

So we made the arrangements. Patricia took him to the vet for a check up. I think Gravy was grateful to come home with all his pieces – or at least all he had left the house with that day, anyway.

He was good to go.

As were we.

December 30th the man came to the empty house to pick up Gravy. He was in his carrier, his water bottle zip locked to the cage opening of the carrier. His food was packed away in ziplock bags and he had treats. The pet carrier was stuffed with two towels[6]. Gravy doesn’t really like his carrier. It was a gift from a friend and it was originally purchased to transport his two cats to the vet. There was a lot of room in there. But it wasn’t his home. His home was his cage or the living room floor and being put in the carrier, to him, meant his cage was going to be cleaned and he’d have to spend a lot of time pooping it up again.

Gravy also hadn’t been acting himself. Rabbits are not the brightest creatures[7] but he knew something was going on. You had to know, even if you were a rabbit, when a bunch of strangers came in and took all the furniture. I thought he’d go crazy with happiness when he saw all the room he had to run around in. I know Connor did. No one to yell at him to be careful not to bump into anything.

But Gravy didn’t like it. He didn’t want to come out of his cage. I tried to explain to him that he should grab the exercise while he could, but he wasn’t listening.

So when the man from the pet movers came, we were prepared to have to grab him out of the cage and put him in the carrier.

We opened the cage.

He peeked out.

He saw the towels.

He was in the carrier before we knew what happened. Ready to go. He got in and started pushing the towels around to get them just so.

We closed the door. The man took Gravy down the walk. And he was gone.

ENTIRE CONTENTS COPYRIGHT 2009 by Shaun McLaughlin

[1] But without the drinking.

[2] And it is.

[3] Other than, you know, the title of this chapter.

[4] And maybe a little guilt.

[5] Which was not the one Patricia bought that matched the harness and leash, but a large plastic carrier with a cage door and food and water dishes.

[6] And there are few things a rabbit likes more than towels. They can chew them, throw them, dig in them. After you’ve been spayed, I suppose this is about as good as it gets.

[7] Yeah. Send me letters telling me how smart your pet rabbit is. Then get on to fetch in less than a year of training. Go ahead. Impress me.

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